Cycling: An inner dialogue

8 Feb

Hmm, doesn’t feel that heavy coming down the stairs. I must be growing stronger.

Hold it away from the tights. Maybe blue suede shoes weren’t such a good idea. Damn it’s heavy now. Last landing, hold on….and down.

(Wheezing)

Tights: undamaged. Tyres: still fat. Adjust clothes. Awkward wrestle through the heavy swing door onto the street. Right, you’re in the outside world now. Try to look like it’s easy.

Ha, it is easy! Not scary at all.

Please! Who do they think they are. Stupid racing bikes. I can catch up.

Jeeze where did they go?

Oh my thighs hurt. Slow. Slow. No need to cycle so fast. We’ve got a long way to go.

Which way should I go? Shit, I never know which is a one way street.

Oh no! Oh no! It’s a freaking one-way street.

Now I’m one of those jerks who cycle on the pavement. I’m so sorry!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Aghh slow people. Get out of the way! Where is my bell?!!

No bell. Shout a warning. Shout what? TO LATE!!!!!!!!!

Sorry!

Oh no, kids. DO NOT KNOCK OVER A KID. YOU WILL GET LYNCHED.

Oh god my thighs hurt! I can’t do this. I have to get off. I can walk the rest of the way.

Other people walk with bikes right? When they’re walking with pedestrian friends…..

No! Stay on the bike. Just across the road. Slow and steady.

Slowly, slowly. Stay on the bike!

There’s the cafe, OH THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cycling-propaganda-posters-L-W6ssox
Poster by Melody Stone.

2 Responses to “Cycling: An inner dialogue”

  1. Jemma February 20, 2014 at 11:04 am #

    Haha! Brilliant!

    And I’d like that picture on a tshirt.

    • Prithika February 20, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

      Which part? The bit where I cry with relief?🙂

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